It has been several months since my last post. A lot has happened since that time. In November 2012, my husband and I opened a yoga studio, the Power Yoga Tribe (www.thepoweryogatribe.com). Whenever I though about blogging, I often told myself that I did not have the time because there was so much to do with the studio. The thing is writing is my passion. Speaking my truth to the world and sharing my yoga journey is my ‘Zone of Genius.’ Owning the studio and teaching classes is great. I love that we are creating a yoga community of authenticity, connection and possibility. But speaking and writing about the transformative power of yoga lights me up in a way that nothing else does. I love to coach/counsel people in using the 8 limbs of yoga to bring peace and joy back into their lives. So why haven’t I been doing that? One word…FEAR.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” (Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love). What Marianne Williamson is talking about is our fear of stepping into our greatness. That is why I have not blogged in 8 months. I get caught up in the lie that I am nobody just as much as everybody else does. I am capable of great things. I have amazing ideas that will transform the entire mental health system in this country. I have a book inside of me begging to come out. I have the ability to connect with people and through my authenticity I facilitate people in speaking their truth. Yet I don’t do any of these things and I continue playing small because that is what is comfortable to me.
However, a lot shifted for me this past weekend. We had our 4th teacher training weekend at the Power Yoga Tribe. It was an unbelievably transformative weekend. The transformation had everything to do with Showing Up In Service of Others. We discussed this concept all weekend because we were focusing on assisting yoga classes. What I came to realize is that, for me, showing up in service is being vulnerable, speaking my truth and showing people that being uncomfortable is the way towards growth. I had an interaction with one of our teacher trainees and I emotionally reacted in anger. Yes, it is true. A yoga teacher got emotionally reactive. Can you believe it? But what transpired amazed me. I was able to step back and notice what I was doing. Once I realized that I was in my ego and not coming from a place of love, I was able to hold myself accountable in front of the entire group and take full responsibility for my behavior. By being vulnerable, open and willing, I was serving my community. What that opened up for me was that my vulnerability serves others. Writing this blog is vulnerable. I hold nothing back. I give you the messy Christen, the one I typically try to hide from others. It is funny because the feedback I have received from this blog has been so incredibly positive. I think people are inspired when others are messy and vulnerable because we can all relate to the ego and humanness that exists in all of us.
So I have decided to come out of my “semi-retirement” from blogging. I have also committed to starting my book and lecturing about yoga counseling. Please stay tuned to many more frequent posts and the world getting to know Dr. Christen Scott, the good, the bad, and the messy.