Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’  Actually, who are you not be be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles

This is one of my favorite quotes.  I have it typed up on a little piece of paper that I keep in my purse all the time.  I often look at it.  This weekend was a perfect example of how my fear of being powerful continues to show up time and time again.  This past Saturday, I spent 11 hours at the studio, teaching, coaching, running workshops etc… It was an amazing day.  I truly felt as though I was standing in my power and doing the work I was meant to do.  I was connected to my higher being and to my yoga community.

As I was driving to the studio on Sunday morning, I was lit up.  I was looking at the ocean and the sky as I was driving.  I felt protected and connected to God and the entire universe.  It is actually kind of funny, I was literally tearing up as I was driving because I was so struck by the beauty that surrounded me.  As I was practicing yoga that morning, all of a sudden, I had a sharp pain in my hip and then I could not move.  I had shooting pains running down the front and back of my right leg.  It was awful- I was in excruciating pain for the entire day.  I had to lay down, ice my back and hip on and off all day.

If you have read any of my earlier posts, you are familiar with the concept of Upper Limiting (from Gay Hendricks).  It is basically how we unconsciously sabotage ourselves after we have been very happy or very successful.  I think that the concept of upper limiting and the quote from Marianne Williamson are getting at the same idea.  When we step into a place of power and success, it is frightening for most of us because most of us believe we are not worthy of such happiness and success.  It is not aligned with what we believe about ourselves so we (consciously or unconsciously) do something so we are aligned with the belief that we are not enough.  For example, an injury and/or illness allows us to focus on what is not working about ourselves.  When I am injured or sick, all I can do is focus on what is wrong and how to make it better.  During those times, I am not aligned with being powerful beyond measure.

During meditation this morning, I came to the realization that the reason I fear success and happiness is that I don’t want to experience it and then lose it.  Whoa!!  Instead of being present and totally experiencing the moment, I am concerned about losing the good feeling.  The funny thing is when we are present- we gain or lose nothing- it just is what it is.  Once I became aware of that thought, I was able to see it for what it was, an illusion. What are your fears/illusions about being happy and/or successful?  Once you are aware of the illusion, freedom then comes from choosing Truth.  The Truth is that we are powerful beyond measure and when we step into that place, we allow everyone around us to step into that place too!